Close Quarters
by ninthsgirl
Summary: A whispered conversation on a random adventure - how I imagine they might sound.


Ow, be careful!

_Sorry!_

Ow! Why are your feet so big?

_Sorry – they came with the package._

Couldn't you have picked a bigger hiding place?

_Excuse me – next time we're running from a well-armed mob interested in our suitability as burnt offerings to their god, I'll check out all available accommodations_.

This has to be the smallest building ever built, and the darkest. Watch out for the –

_Ow! _

I guess you found it. Can't you whip out the old sonic screwdriver and light this place up?

_No, the light might be seen under the door. OK, just sit down – carefully. And keep your voice down. I'm not sure where they are._

Do you think they saw us?

_If they did, we'd be on our way to a barbeque. We'd better lie low for a little while to be sure. I don't think this lot will give up that easily_.

So now what?

_What do you mean, now what?_

How do we kill time?

_A very hostile phrase, that – "kill time". Mmmm…we could resort to the universal standby_.

How did that become the universal standby? I think you're making that up.

_I can't believe you doubt me._

Anyway, I'm terrible at it. Last time it took me forever.

_Come on, don't be a spoilsport!_

Oh, all right… is it bigger than a breadbox?

_Why do you always start with that? Only twenty questions available and, given your skills of deduction, every one needed, and you start with that. And what exactly is up with this human need to compare the size of everything to this box?_

Don't complain – you asked for this, not me.

_Then yes, it is bigger than a breadbox_.

Is it your nose?

_I am hurt – you have wounded me to the quick, Rose Tyler. And stop giggling, you'll give us away._

I told you I didn't want to play.

_You'd better come up with something else before I start singing "Ninety nine bottles of beer" in your ear._

Why do you know all the most annoying things about earth?

_How else could I have fun driving you crazy?_

Were you this daft with your other travel partners?

_No, I was the soul of gentlemanly propriety_.

Hard to believe. Why with me?

_I don't know… you bring out the devil in me. Not easy to do given the inherent dignity of a Time Lord – now that was a most unladylike snort you just gave._

So sorry. Don't want to damage your… dignity. What's that? I felt something on my leg – ow! My head – that really hurt! Your skull is so hard!

_What about my head? I can see stars!_

I feel like we're two of the Three Stooges in here – they were this comedy team-

_I know – Larry, Moe, and Curly._

You know about the Stooges?

_Some things transcend space and time, my dear girl. The Stooges are classic_.

Great, I'm trapped in a shed with the only intergalactic Stooge fan.

_No, you're not_.

There's more of you?

_Oh, yeah_.

Oh. That is very disturbing.

_It soitenly is. There's that snort again – quite charming, actually. Budge up a bit, my legs are cramping._

Your feet are really big.

_Like I said, they came with the package – big feet, big ears, big nose_.

You know what they say about big feet.

_No, what do "they" say?_

Big feet, large… shoes.

_You cheeky little minx!_

Naughty alien! …. Doctor?

_Mmm?_

What were your other companions like?

_I don't know – they were all different._

What made you choose the ones you did?

_Well, usually it was because I felt like I could teach them. I was very confident in my own knowledge then._

Why did you choose me?

_I don't think… I don't think I chose you_.

What does that mean?

_I don't know… it feels like you were chosen for me_.

Why?

_Because this time it's not what I can teach you. It's about what you are teaching me. Because you were what I needed to … live again._

Oh…

_Are you – are you crying?_

No, it's just dusty in here.

_Rose, why did you come with me?_

Because… I knew that, if I didn't, I would regret it for the rest of my life…. Have I ever told you I like the way you hold my hand – just like this?

_I like it, too._

I can hear you smiling.

_Can you? That's quite a talent_.

I'm a woman of many talents.

_Are you? Name another one_.

I can… I can make a great cup of tea.

_Bloody great – I could use one now._

I can save you from giant blobs of alien consciousness.

_Like a true superhero. You do have a few good ones. … Rose?_

Mmm?

_I meant what I told you before, in Cardiff. I'm so glad I met you_.

Me, too.

_Now I can hear you smiling_.

Ooh, you're so impressive!

_I am so impressive!_

Yes, you are – my mighty Time Lord.

_Yes, your Time Lord. Well, my legs are now thoroughly cramped – I think it's time to attempt our escape._

Are they gone?

_Yes, they've been gone._

Why didn't you say something sooner?

_I was having a good time right here._

Me, too. Last one to the TARDIS makes the tea?

_I'd rather hold your hand and go together. Don't let go_.

Never.

_OK, then – run!_


End file.
